


Innocent as Sin

by IceK7



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Explicit Language, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Sexual Content, Trauma, YuriYuu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9908354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceK7/pseuds/IceK7
Summary: Innocence is something that many hold sacred because it is fleeting. It can be lost in a second, yet is unrecoverable. With a complete disregard for another's will, a nameless stranger becomes the catalyst that strips both Yuri and Yuuri of some of theirs. There's a reason we're told that we're all sinners. No one gets through life without becoming one.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1) The same rules applies to this story as my other one. If anyone wants to expand on this, go for it! All I ask is that you let me know so that I can read it. I have no desire to write novel or even novella length fanfics anymore because I can’t rationalize taking away the time from my original works. 
> 
> 2) I wanted to take a completely different spin on Yuri’s personality in this from the other. Honestly, I think this one is a little closer to the truth. 
> 
> 3) If this story makes you uncomfortable or uneasy, I’ve done my job. Inspiring lust was most certainly not the goal.

“The nerve of that guy,” Yuuri announced irritably as he barged into the apartment while roughly running his free arm over his mouth. The force of his entry caused the door to smack into the wall, making Yuri jump a foot off the couch.

 

“What the hell, Katsudon?!” He yelled as he jerked in Yuuri’s direction.

 

“And why is it so hot in here?” Yuuri yelled, completely ignoring the boy as he wrestled his shirt off, and threw it onto the floor. Sweat poured down his face and chest in rivulets, and his skin was flushed and blotchy. Meanwhile, Yuri was wrapped up in a quilt, shivering as he waited for Viktor’s furnace to turn back on.

 

“How are you hot when it’s so cold that I can barely stand it? Even pigs get cold!” Yuri yelled as he watched the man pour glass after glass of freezing water down his throat. Just when he thought perhaps it was himself that was feverish, his condensed breath proved that was he not going crazy.

 

“Ah, that hit the spot,” Yuuri mumbled as he pressed a cool glass against his forehead. With that clearing his head a bit, he realized he had been spoken to. Slowly, he slanted an eye in Yuri’s direction. 

 

“What can I say? I’ve always been a bit hot-blooded,” he said with a wink and salacious smirk that could easily put Chris to shame. Yuri could only blush and look away.

 

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. Since you’re cold and I’m hot, how about we help each other out?”

 

Instantly, Yuri’s head whipped back around to the older man just in time to see him practically floating as he casually sauntered over to the couch with his slacks riding low. Yuuri then flung himself the last few feet and wrapped himself around Yuri as he landed.

 

“What the hell are you doing?!” Yuri yelled as he wrestled to get out of his cocoon and away from Yuuri. Unperturbed, Yuuri seemingly just slithered into the blankets as easily as if he had been invited, radiating heat at a level that seemed unhealthy. Everything in Yuri yelled at him to just comply.

 

“Ah, you can’t tell me that this doesn’t feel good. This feels amazing!” Yuuri whispered as he pulled Yuri’s back firmly into his chest, and then pressed his face into Yuri’s neck. “Amazing” didn’t even begin to describe it, and that was the red flag Yuri needed to snap him out of his pleasure.

 

“Katsudon, what the fuck has gotten into you?!, Get off of me!” He yelled and shoved, which afforded him nearly a foot of space. Only then could he process a few of the things racing through his mind.

 

“What are you even doing here? What happened to celebrating with Chris? It’s not even midnight, so I  _ know _ he hasn’t called it a night, yet.” Yuri said as he thought about Chris’ exuberance at claiming silver at the European championship. Yuri and Otabek took gold and bronze, while Yuuri took gold at the Four Continents. Raucous celebrations were in order, and he would have been included as well if not for his age. 

 

“ _ I  _ called it a night. I don’t mind Chris, but I can do without the people that frequents the places he likes to visit,” Yuuri said as irritation quickly flittered across his face. He then angrily ran his hand through his hair in annoyance. Internally, Yuri nodded in agreeance with his assessment, hence why he wasn’t heartbroken that he couldn’t go. He then froze.

 

“Wait a minute! You came all the way back here by yourself?” He asked, annoyed, worried and shocked.

 

“Don’t worry, it’s was a pretty straight shot on the Metro. Even after getting turned around, it still took less than an hour to get here,” Yuuri placated, and then slumped back into the couch. Yuri, on the other hand went rigid.

 

‘Turned around?’ He thought, as all of the dangers of St. Petersburg flashed through his head. Nevermind that Yuuri had only been living in the city for a little over a month, he only knew a few conversational Russian phrases, which weren’t going to get him far. That and with Viktor spread so thin with spending 4-5 hours each day training Yuuri on top of 4-5 hours preparing for his return, in addition to sponsor obligations and small things like  _ sleep,  _ Yuri agreed to move in with the couple to act as Yuuri’s mouthpiece. Now, the very first time he truly had to step in while Viktor was away for an extended period, Yuuri had somehow managed to traipse around the city alone? at night?

 

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? Russia is not Japan, Katsudon! Why didn’t you call me?” Yuri yelled. Blankly, Yuuri stared at him, and then broke into a dazzling smile.

 

“Aww, Yurio, you do care!” Yuuri said, and then pulled him back into his embrace once more. Caught off guard, Yuuri managed to cover his arms and legs like a quilt, before nuzzling the boy’s neck. Just barely, his lips grazed across the young skin.

 

“Yuuri, Viktor would not like this, at all,” Yuri said slowly in a calm, low voice. Internally, he felt nothing of the sort.

 

“Not true, Viktor loves this sort of thing. I finally get why. This… feels so good,” Yuuri practically purred, causing Yuri to squeeze his eyes shut.

 

“Katsudon, how much have you had to drink?” He asked just as calmly while his mind raced.

 

“I’m not drunk,”Yuuri laughed, “I only had two beers and one shot.”

 

“Right,” Yuri said dryly, before blowing out a calming breath. Yuuri was slowly squeezing him tighter and tighter, which was drawing them closer and closer. As it was, he could feel the full imprint of the man’s erection brushing against him, yet somehow it didn’t come across as intentional.

 

“You know, I can lay here with you like this all night. Forever even. It’s so comfortable,” Yuuri dazedly said as he ran his hands under Yuri’s shirt across his abs and across his chest. His hands moved absently as if he was just following sensory instructions, no pattern was given. Even so, Yuri’s mind was folding in itself.

 

“Yuuri, stop. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, or what you’re after, but it’s not happening. I’m  **not** Viktor,” he said as he turned around in the embrace to glare at the man. A bewildered frown adorned Yuuri’s face.

 

“Why are you so mad?” Yuuri said as he gripped his forehead. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong? I just want to lie with you. Is that okay?”

 

Up close, Yuri could see that Yuuri’s eyes were far more dilated than they should be, and in order to get a better look, he moved closer by a fraction. Yuuri took that moment to press their lips together, causing the boy to gasp. Immediately, Yuuri allowed his tongue to lazily explore the boy’s mouth. Yuri tried to resist but it’s only so much a boy going through puberty could take, so he gave into this one sin. For some reason, his mind returned to the time they played with sparklers by the ocean before his mind blanked for a moment. It only came back online when they pulled apart for air, allowing Yuuri to immediately place gentle kisses all over his face.

 

“Kimochi, ne?” Yuuri mumbled in between kisses, thoroughly puzzling the teen. It was quickly forgotten when his earlobe was pulled in between two lips and flicked with a tongue.

 

“Gods!” Yuri breathed, as he quickly pinned the man down. Yuuri’s pupils seemed somehow even larger, while he stared up at him with a dopey grin.

 

“Yurio,” he sing songed as he lay compliant. Yuri looked down at him, quickly processing his confusion, anger, bewilderment, fear and arousal as each washed over him repeatedly. Here lie the first person he had a genuine crush on, an  _ innocent  _ crush. He’s felt eros for plenty, and have been in the beds of many. In fact, if people knew his true count and when he started counting, he was sure they would put him in protective custody for abused minors. But, this was different. With others, he just wanted an orgasm, while with Yuuri he wanted to… play with sparklers, skate, game and eat pork cutlet bowls. His brain never allowed him to think of the carnal side of things with him. He always got too flustered and wound up blushing like a virgin whenever he tried. Of course Mila had to see it, and after trading sexually charged barbs and insults for years, she was relentless in her teasing.

 

‘What would Mila say if she saw this?’ Yuri thought absentmindedly before he refocused on the man beneath him.

 

“Katsudon, you are an idiot,” Yuri mumbled. “Is this what you want?” he asked as he ground his crotch down into Yuuri’s. Yuuri’s back instantly arched as he sighed and shut his eyes. He then slowly opened his eyes to slits before reaching up and placing a gentle but firm kiss to Yuri’s mouth. That broke the final string.

 

“Wait here,” Yuri said quickly before getting up and going into the master bedroom. After rifling through Viktor’s nightstand, Yuri came across a bottle of lube and a few condoms. He quickly pocketed the lube, but left behind the condoms.

 

‘What’s the odds that Katsudon has anything? Besides, I  _ know  _ I’m clean,’ he thought as he came back to the couch. Yuuri was just as he left him, staring dazedly at the ceiling. Slowly the man shifted his gaze to the boy.

 

“You’re back,” he said. Yuri held up the lube so that he could see it. Yuuri stayed focused on his face, and opened his arms wide, welcoming him. Yuri sat down instead. After blowing out a breath, he reached for Yuuri’s fly, swiftly unfastening it. As he tugged them off, Yuuri assisted by lifting up, leaving him bare. Yuri stared at the carved body, slowly caressing it, before he shifted the man’s legs to better accommodate him. He then stared directly into his eyes as he flipped the cap on the lube. Yuuri stared back at him, placidly. Hearing no complaints, Yuri placed a sizable dollop of the liquid on his first two fingers, and then circled the man’s opening. Yuuri squirmed a bit, but mostly remained still. Slowly, Yuri pressed around the outer walls, attempting to loosen them, and the squirming picked up. To insure he wasn’t hurting the man, Yuri glanced up at his face, and saw him biting his lip, seemingly holding back a giggle. To test this hypothesis, Yuri used a bit more force, and Yuuri exploded in laughter. He was laughing so hard he had to grip his abdomen.

 

“What the hell?” Yuri asked as he barely held back his own laugh.

 

“It tickles! It tickles!” Yuuri howled, making Yuri laugh as well.

 

“You are so weird!” Yuri continued to laugh as he proceeded to prep him. Nearly ten minutes later, and after almost getting kicked in the face, Yuri finally placed some lube on himself. Normally, Yuri was more than confident in the bedroom, but he felt nervous this time. He felt more nervous now than he did his first time.

 

“Katsudon, are you sure this-” 

 

Yuuri cut him off with a swift kiss, and then Yuri couldn’t wait to be inside him. He pushed into him just as abruptly as he had been kissed, which caused Yuuri to fall back. His eyes were wide and his mouth was formed into an O. Yuri slowly shifted, testing different angles to see exactly what his partner liked. Yuuri didn’t give him time to explore, pulling him down into a tight embrace as he wrapped his legs around him, babbling incoherent Japanese. Lying chest to chest, Yuri could feel their hearts beating, hear the rapid breaths and feel the slight trembling in Yuuri’s legs. It melted him into a pool of emotions he never felt during sex, solidifying his desire to make this the best night ever. Instead of his own pleasure, he wanted Yuuri to get as much fulfillment as possible. He would then never talk about it again to avoid causing problems with Viktor if that is what Yuuri wished. All he asked for was tonight. 

 

***

‘What the hell is that noise?’ Yuri thought as he slowly pulled himself out of slumber. His nose was pressed into Yuuri’s hair, and it made him want to return to sleep even more.

 

‘What is… my phone? Who’s calling this early?’ He thought as he blindly patted around for it, eyes trying to focus on the miniscule amount of light the rising sun provided.

 

“What?!” He yelled, or at least tried. That’s what he was thinking, but he didn’t know if that was what he said. Hell, he couldn’t even recall what language he spoke.

 

“Yuri, did Viktor’s Yuuri ever make it back? He told me he would call me, but he never did,” Chris said smoothly as though it was a reasonable hour.

 

“Katsudon is sleeping like a normal person at this hour, just as I was doing,” Yuri said in irritation.

 

“Oh good, “Chris said, unperturbed. “With how crazy everything got last night, I was worried. Let him know that I handled his admirer.”

 

“Admirer?” Yuri asked, remembering how pissed off Yuuri was when he first came in.

 

“Yeah, some asshole decided to get handsy with him. He kept trying to get Yuuri to try his drink no matter how many time he refused. Before I could intervene, he forcibly kissed him. Yuuri started gagging, and I don’t blame him. I probably would have gotten sick if he had tried that on me... Anyway, I was worried that it may have been more than a kiss considering how Yuuri kept gagging and wiping his mouth. The asshole also seemed too satisfied with himself. He didn’t feel right. But, if Yuuri made it home okay, then all-”

 

Yuri pressed the end call button as a chill went through his body. He slowly turned to Yuuri, and noticed that he was violently shivering. He moved to cover him up, but jerked back when he felt how hot his skin felt. That was definitely not normal nor healthy.

 

“Katsudon…” He called, and received no reply. 

“Yuuri!” He then yelled as he shook the man. Slowly Yuuri’s eyes opened, and Yuri felt real fear when he saw that his pupils were dilated to the point where he couldn’t see his irises.

 

“Shit!” Yuri yelled as Yuuri leaned over the couch and proceeded to violently throw up. He then curled back into a shivering ball, sweating profusely.

 

‘I need to get him to a hospital!’ Yuri thought as he quickly jumped up to clean and dress himself and Yuuri. Mind racing, he knew that he couldn’t take him to a normal hospital due to the ISU investigating any and all potential drug offences. He would have to take him to a public clinic that asked very little questions. Luckily, he knew just the place.

 

***

“Mr. Yura Katiyev, how are you feeling?” An older female doctor asked once she walked in and saw her patient was awake. Not understanding the Russian gibberish, Yuuri continued staring at the ceiling, controlling his shivers and gathering his thoughts.

 

“Katsudon, that’s you,” Yuri whispered, drawing Yuuri’s attention.

 

“Huh?” He asked, and Yuri ignored him in favor of the doctor.

 

“His Russian is shit, so I’ll be translating for him. What’s the diagnosis?” 

 

The doctor seemed unhappy with this for a moment, then as if she remembered exactly where she worked, she should her head and rolled with it.

 

“Very well. Ask him how he feels,” she said, and Yuri did. “Cold” was the only reply and she didn’t need that translated.

 

“I see. That’s a common side effect of taking MDMA, as I’m sure he knows. How long-”

 

“Katsudon does not do drugs!” Yuri interjected. The doctor looked at him sternly for a long moment before finally relenting.

 

“Then his situation is even worse than before, because willingly or not, there is MDMA and Sildenafil in his system.”

 

“Sildenafil?” Yuri asked.

 

“Viagra. Someone slipped him a concoction of MDMA and viagra.”

 

Hearing that, Yuri stepped back until he practically fell onto the cot Yuuri was lying on. Finally cueing in on what was going on. Yuuri sat up, careful not to pull out his IV. 

 

“Yuri, what’s going on?” He asked. Yuri quickly gave him the rundown, causing him to turn a frightened face to the doctor. He then turned back to Yuri and voiced his concerns about drug testing and side effects. 

 

“English, Katsudon,” Yuri said gently. Puzzled for a second, Yuri crunched up his face, before he tried again.

 

“I’m not going to be able to go to Worlds. A drug scandal of any kind would undo everything I’ve worked for. What am I going to tell Viktor?” He asked as his eyes filled with tears. Yuri glanced away.

 

“Worlds is still weeks away. It won’t stay in your blood that long. It’ll be okay. You don’t have to tell Viktor anything,” he said, and Yuuri just looked lost. He then turned his gaze to the IV, with the question openly painted across his face.

 

“That is a saline solution. You were suffering from severe electrolyte depletion as well as hyperthermia, hence the ice bath,” The doctor said with Yuri rapidly translating.

 

“Are there any lasting side effects?” Yuuri asked in a small voice.

 

“The most common side effect is hyperthermia, which you’ve already experienced. Others include anxiety, depression, restlessness, sleep loss, irritability, increased thirst, aggression and memory loss. Have you experienced any others so far?” The doctor asked. Instead of translating, Yuri answered.

 

“He was really thirsty and irritable last night. He also kept complaining about being hot,” he said. The doctor looked contemplative for a moment, and then looked at her chart again.

 

“While increased body temperature is the most common side effect, actually feeling hot is not. But, when alcohol, Sildenafil and MDMA are mixed you can get anything from synergistic to paradoxical effects. In addition to the side effects listed, many others could have appeared. Luckily, the most dangerous time period has passed, and any lingering effects should subside within a week,” she said.

 

As quickly as he could, Yuuri was trying to pick out any Russian words he could recognize, but that was as easy as following a ping pong ball in a professional match. Growing more worried and exasperated, he yelled out his presence, prompting Yuri to quickly get him up to speed. It wasn’t easy because Yuri had had no reason to learn the English equivalent to some of those terms. 

 

“More importantly, Mr. Katiyev, I would like to run STI tests and potentially a rape kit,” the doctor cut in after she grew tired of waiting. Yuri was translating as quickly as he could, and swiftly added in that last statement, before completely stumbling over his words once he realized what he said. Both males stared at the doctor with wide eyes.

 

“I know this may be hard to hear, but that no one gives someone that combination unless they have plans. While MDMA is known to reduce inhibitions and increase euphoria, it completely dampens the libido, often causing an inability to reach an orgasm, or even an erection. To circumvent this, viagra is added. Combined, arousal can be maintained, often for hours until to MDMA subsides. To some people this sounds good, but it is very dangerous. You got very lucky, Mr. Katiyev,” she said. 

 

Yuri translated without even paying attention to what he was saying. His mind was replaying the events of the previous night. The increased touchiness, the hot skin, the faraway gaze that never seemed to focus on anything.

 

‘Oh God,’ he thought as he remembered their time together. He knew he had made the man feel good, but it took forever to make him finally climax. He chalked it up to his crazy stamina, but now…

 

“If it’s okay, I just want to go home. Nothing happened, I’m sure. I know exactly when and where I was drugged, and I went home right away. Nothing happened,” Yuuri said firmly, pulling Yuri out of his thoughts. Yuri stared at Yuuri, watching him tremble, but knew that look of determination anywhere. He just hoped the doctor would be reasonable.

 

“I see. Well, I most certainly can’t keep you here, but I will go on record as saying that I don’t advise this. Once your temperature return to normal, you are free to leave.” She said, and Yuuri nodded. She then took her leave, leaving the two males alone. The tension in the room was thick.

 

“Katsudon… last night-”

 

“What happened after I got home? I remember coming in and pounding back water, but nothing after that. I wasn’t too much of a pain was I?” Yuuri asked suddenly. Taken aback, Yuri stuttered.

 

“W-what? No… no, you…”

 

“Good. Thanks for getting me some help. I can’t thank you enough,” Yuuri said quietly, looking forlornly at the floor. He then managed to pull a smile that looked genuine even if it was a little too bright. As he looked at that smile and allowed the praise to wash over him, guilt churned in Yuri’s stomach, forcing him to speak to the floor as well.

 

“Yeah, well, don’t mention it,” he mumbled.

 

***

 

Two days later, Viktor returned. Though he was beyond exhausted, he was happy to reunite his family of four, but only Makkachin seemed enthusiastic. On the surface, everything was fine, but after watching his Yuris for three days, there was no denying that something was wrong. They were not interacting properly. They never let their gazes meet, wouldn’t touch one another, and was overly polite. They also seemed to stare at one another when the other wasn’t paying attention. If it had just been Yuuri - fine, but Yuri, too? Something was wrong. 

 

“Okay, Yurio, I know you said that you didn’t want anything for your birthday, but I was hoping you’d at least let us take you out to dinner,” Viktor said. Yuuri, sitting beside him, turned and looked at him briefly before turning to face Yuri. Accidentally, their eyes met, and they both looked away.

 

“Please, celebrate with us, Yuri. You only get one birthday every year,” Yuuri said quietly, surprising both Russians. Unable to refuse a direct invite from Yuuri, Yuri agreed without a fight.

 

***

 

“I’ll admit, these pirozhki are good, but they have nothing on my grandfather’s. I should have him come over to show these people how it’s done,” Yuri said loudly as he happily munched on his food. The chef yelled playful insults from the back, and Yuri made sure he gave back just as good. With Viktor translating, all four men shared a laugh. 

 

“Ah, to be sixteen again,” Viktor said, wistfully as he watched Yuri exude the arrogance of youth.

 

“Careful, you just made yourself sound extra old, old man,” Yuri replied, causing Yuuri to laugh at his fiance’s expense. He then poked his “thinning” spot for good measure, and both of the younger men laughed. Viktor was glad to see the now rare sight, but he didn’t like that he had to be the butt of the joke to get it.

 

“If you two done laughing, I would like to give Yuri his gift. Though now I am certain he doesn’t deserve it,” Viktor said while smiling largely. Both guys quickly quieted their snickers. They knew the signs when they were pissing Viktor off.

 

“I told you I didn’t want anything,” Yuri said as he looked away with a blush and a frown. He welcomed all praise and gifts when he actually did something to earn it. Birthdays were weird, because all he did was get birthed. His parents should be the ones getting the gifts, not him.

 

“Nonsense,” Viktor said. “Here.”

 

Looking up, Yuri was confused to see Viktor passing his phone over. 

 

‘What the hell? Is he giving me a second-hand phone. Mine is newer than his!’ Yuri thought before he looked down and realized that he was on video chat with Yakov and his rinkmates.

 

“Happy birthday!” They all yelled, and he realizes that they are standing in Viktor’s guest room. 

 

“You’re such a pain! We almost couldn’t give you your surprise because you wouldn’t leave the house. I’m late for a date because of you,” Mila scolded and then stuck out her tongue. “You better appreciate our sacrifices,” she added as she turned the camera around so that he could see the whole room. He instantly noted the bigger bed, larger TV and gaming systems. More importantly, his cat, who had remained at LIlia’s, was lounging about. Speechless, he turned and looked at Viktor.

 

“You’ve been a big help to me since I’ve returned to Russia. You’re more than a guest, so it’s time you stop living in the guest room,” he said, and Yuri instantly dropped his gaze. Guilt and shame poured over and out of him. But, not wanting to seem like an ingrate, he gave a quiet thanks to everyone.

 

“Oh, come on! Don’t look so sad. I’ll only be fashionably late, so no harm no foul. As icing on the cake, I’ll have enough fun for both of us,” Mila said with a wink, and Yuri couldn’t stop the eyeroll and smile as the screen went blank.

 

“I have something for you, too,” Yuuri said quietly as he presented a small envelope. Shocked, both Viktor and Yuri stared at him before Yuri reached over and carefully took it from his hand. Slowly, he opened it, and pulled out what looked to be a postcard. Yuri stared and stared at it. Growing increasingly more curious, Viktor leaned forward a bit and realized it was a ticket to that tiger park in China they had seen a special on. Yuri had been absolutely enamored as he saw how close visitors were allowed to get to the cats. Viktor had made a mental note to look into it at the time, but apparently Yuuri had went a step further and followed through.

 

“I figured we could all go after Worlds,” Yuuri said when it became clear that Yuri wasn’t going to say anything any time soon. 

 

“Yuuri, I-” Yuri started, before losing his words. He then shook his head and began again, “I can’t accept this.”

 

Viktor’s eyes widened, while Yuuri’s face stayed firmly in place. The only sign that he had heard was his dimming eyes. Neither Yuri or Viktor missed it.

 

“I see,” he said quietly, “Well, I...” Abruptly, he stopped speaking altogether, looking down. Yuri knew that he had wounded him, but this was...

 

“I don’t deserve this. This is all way too much. I don’t deserve it,” he said, and Yuuri looked up at him. For a long moment, they stared at each other, and then both looked away. Viktor watched the exchange, and narrowed his eyes in confusion. Something was definitely going on. He had only been gone for a few days. Did they have some type of fight? Did someone say more than he should have? Regardless, something had to give. He would do his best to let them resolve it on their own, but if that didn’t happen soon, he was going to step in. 

 

“Vladimir, can we please take the rest of this to go? Thank you,” he said jovially to the waiter before turning to the somber men. “Let’s call it a night!”

 

***

Within twenty minutes of arriving home, Viktor was back out the door to discuss with Nikita Stepanov, his longtime friend and composer, a few elements he would like modified in the music for his short program. It’s clear that he didn’t adequately convey what he wanted in their last exchange, so they were going to hammer it out together. Besides, he wanted his boys to work through whatever was causing their rift. He refused to allow them to use him as a buffer. Only once everything else has been exhausted would he step in. Both Yuri and Yuuri knew this, and was relieved and dismayed all at once.

 

‘Damn it, I should have just sucked it up, and accepted the gift,’ Yuri thought as he watched Yuuri walk to the master bedroom after loading the washing machine. He can practically taste the hurt coming from Yuuri, and all things considered, he’d rather deal with guilt than that.

 

‘Fuck this,’ Yuri thought, and then followed behind Yuuri after a few minutes. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he would figure something out or just go off the cuff. Anything would be an improvement at this point.

 

“Mari,” Yuri heard Yuuri say once he reached the door. Following that was a string of hysterical Japanese punctuated with sobs. Luckily, due to Yuuri spending so much time in America and other English speaking countries, he had the habit of switching out a sizeable portion of his Japanese words with their English counterparts when speaking casually. Besides his, Chris’ and Viktor’s names, he heard drugged, MDMA, viagra, Worlds, failure and lastly rape. Yuri couldn’t tell whether he was freezing or on fire, but either would have been an improvement to the discomfort he was feeling. Honestly, at that moment, if he had a gun, he would have used it. Since he didn’t, all he could do was allow the wall to hold him up as the rapid Japanese continued to fill his ears. After what felt like hours the hysterics finally subsided, and the conversation reached a regular cadence before ceasing completely. Yet, even with silence permeating the hall and then giving way to the sound of Yuuri’s feet shuffling across the floor growing louder, Yuri remained frozen. The truth was out there, so he couldn’t run anymore. 

 

“Yurio,” Yuuri breathed with wide eyes as he took in the boy with somber eyes standing across from his door.

 

“So, you knew… I always knew you did, but I had prayed that you really did forget,” Yuri said as he gave a twisted smiled that had no humor. Yuuri was in no better condition.

 

“I… Yurio… Yuri, I’m so sorry! I know it was wrong for me to deny everything. It was downright cowardly! But, until I could figure out what to do, I wanted to just shelf everything for a little while longer. I thought a little time would give me answers, give me strength. Now, after these five days, being with you and Viktor, I see it’s not going to work. The guilt and downright disgust is tearing me apart. I can’t even stand to look in the mirror anymore, yet that’s still easier than when I think about what I did with you,” Yuuri said, voice increasing all the while. He had spoken so much and so quickly that he was out of breath. He only realized that he had closed his eyes when they flew open at the sound of a high-pitched sob.

 

“Yura,” Yuuri’s mouth formed, but no audible syllable’s came out as he locked eyes with Yuri. The boy was biting his lower lip as tears freely flowed from his eyes. He then quickly covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to allow no more sound to escape. It was the equivalent of using matchsticks to build a dam. Seeing the futility, he stopped holding back.

 

“Disgusting, huh? I guess I deserve that,” Yuri said with a laugh through sobs. He then saw flashes of that night, and couldn’t change the fact, no matter how much he wanted to, that that was the best sexual experience he ever had. Instead of just eros, he experienced the agape side of intercourse. How sick must he be to feel that way about an encounter that wasn’t consensual?

 

“I’ll go,” Yuri finally whispered, and then turned to gather the things he brought with him from the secondary bedroom. Stunned, Yuuri watched him walk a few feet away, before grabbing his wrist.

 

“What do you mean you deserve it?” Yuuri asked in anger. Furthermore, where was he going? If anyone should leave it was him! Why would he…

 

“Yura, it’s not you I’m disgusted with. I could  _ never _ be disgusted by you. I’m disgusted with myself!” Yuuri yelled as he shifted his grip to Yuri’s shoulders and then shook him, slightly.

 

“I’m 24 years old, a fully grown, engaged man. Yet, I seduced and slept with a child! You don’t get any scummier than that!” 

 

As Yuri listened his eyes widened and then quickly narrowed. By the end, he was shrugging Yuuri off of him.

 

“First of all, you were drugged out of your mind. You weren’t able to tell me from Viktor, a plant or Makkachin! Between the two of us, I was the only one that had some sense of self, yet I failed,” Yuri said, barely choking back a sob on the last part. “Secondly, I am not a child! You moved away from home the same year I did. I’ve basically been my own keeper ever since.”

 

Listening to all this did give Yuuri a bit of a different perspective, but not in the way Yuri was expecting.

 

“You’re saying that as though it changes the reality that you’re a kid. Yura, you’re a kid that has been saddled with the burden of adulthood long before you should have been. Even worse, you’ve carried this weight for so long you don’t even recognize that it doesn’t belong!” Yuuri said, which both infuriated Yuri and made him oddly… uncomfortable.

 

“You’re really starting to piss me off. Regardless of my age, we can both agree that I’m not some regular sixteen-year-old. I’ve already finished school, have traveled the world, been on TV and have a career. I’m not a kid.”

 

“Yet only starting today are you even eligible to give sexual consent.”

 

“Whatever. I’ve been sexually active since I was thirteen.”

 

At that, Yuuri looked absolutely horrified.

 

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t some victim. I was the seducer,” Yuri said with a wink. The look on his face matched the salacious expression he had when he first heard Eros. Yuuri immediately blushed and then blanched.

 

“Great, at least one of us knew what we were doing,” Yuuri grumbled, but Yuri heard him all the same.

 

“Wait, Katsudon, you… you were…” Yuri tried to speak through his shock before rage pushed him through.

 

“How the hell were you a 24-year-old, fully grown, engaged man, yet still a virgin?” Yuri yelled, causing Yuuri to flinch.

 

“I’ve only been engaged for two months, and with the season in full swing, romance took a backseat. Besides, since we are engaged, we figured we had all the time in the world, so we’d wait until the moment was right,” Yuuri said growing quieter and quieter as he spoke. The hot air blew out of Yuri, and they both fell back into silence.

 

“Yuuri, I’m-” Yuri broke the silence.

 

“But that’s neither here nor there. It still doesn’t change the fact that I could and should easily be in jail right now,” Yuuri cut in.

 

“Idiot, you’re not going to jail because I’m not telling anybody. Even if you decide to tell, I’ll deny, deny, deny. Besides, just because I’m underage doesn’t mean I’m braindead. I knew what I was doing, yet I did it anyway. I should have known that something was wrong with you,” Yuri said.

 

‘But, I was too busy thinking with my dick,’ he added mentally.

 

As if he heard him, Yuuri responded.

 

“That’s why there’s an age of consent, Yura. No one is fully responsible when going through puberty.”

 

“I think drugs trump puberty, moron,” Yuri added.

 

“Well, if I couldn’t give consent, and you couldn’t give consent, who do we dump this mess on?” Yuuri asked, slightly in jest to dispel the dark mood.

 

“The bastard who drugged you, that’s who! We need to find this fucker,” Yuri said, and Yuuri averted his eyes. He wanted the guy found as well, but then he would have to admit to being drugged, and if anything involving him and Yura surfaced, the shit was going to really hit the fan. Yuri quickly picked up on that, too.

 

“You know what? Fuck him! Are we… are we good?” He asked, and Yuuri gazed at him. Without his veil of aggression, insecurity bled through, making him look really young. Slowly, Yuuri walked over to him.

 

“Yura, you, Viktor and all of our rinkmates have become another family to me. Before I met you all, I stayed on the fringe of the skating family, never letting anyone in. I always had one foot in and one foot out the door. That caused me to bottle all of my emotions up, and self-destruct at the worse times. Now, I’m the strongest and most stable I’ve been in my life, and you’re part of the reason for that. You mean the world to me. We’re better than good,” Yuuri said, and then pulled the boy into a hug. Instantly, thin arms wrapped around him and squeezed him tightly. They both felt good to have the other in their arms. For Yuuri, he felt he could protect this boy better than the others have done so far. If he was lucky, he may even be able to save some of the childhood innocence that still lie hidden beneath it all. For Yuri, he felt safe and treasured. Normally, he hated asking for assistance because it made him feel weak. But, with Yuuri, he felt safe enough to not be so strong all the time. More importantly, the contact let them know that they were going to get through this, and their bond was going to be stronger than ever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a soft spot for YuriYuu, but there are only a few ways I actually see it being plausible. 
> 
> 1) I can see some sort of three-way between Yuri, Yuuri and Viktor. Viktor seems really laid back and open to anything, so if done well, yeah, I can see it. 
> 
> 2) If Viktor dies, comes up missing, or the Viktuuri relationship fully runs its course and they mutually agree to go their separate ways, maybe.
> 
> 3) Infidelity. I honestly can’t see Viktor being the cheater; it would be Yuuri. Yuuri is impulsive as hell if you notice how he have verbal outbursts and changes his jumps on the fly without any practice. He also has no experience with the carnal side of things, so I could see him getting caught up, and then wondering how the hell it ever happened. 
> 
> On the Yuri side, he would have to be thoroughly pushed or challenged, because while he has a very obvious crush/obsession with Yuuri, he does care for Viktor. Unfortunately, in the few YuriYuu fics I’ve seen, the first two scenarios are often given, or Viktor is the initial cheater. This is what prompted me to write this. But, since I didn’t want to age the characters, I had to think of a way that the unthinkable would happen, which grew into this emotional monster. 
> 
> Of course, now I’m curious as to what happens next. Will the bond they have now formed by a lost of innocence and new experiences grow so strong that it starts to isolate Viktor? Will Yuuri be able to let Yuri become an adult after vowing to return him to innocence? Will Yuri be able to properly bond with someone else after forging a bond of this magnitude at such a formative age? What really happened to change Yuri from the young boy we saw in flashbacks to the kid we see now? Will the physical side of their relationship be revisited once age is no longer an issue? People tend to seek out past sources of comfort when hurt or stressed. Will this really stay a secret, or will someone slip up? If Viktor were to find out, would he really just be okay? Would you be okay if you found out your virgin fiance slept with a 15-year-old while drugged? Would it change how you respond if you only find out months or years later after they have gotten overly close? So many questions! But, I truly cannot answer them. I opened Pandora’s box with this one. If you want to take a stab at closing it, be my guest! LOL

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Kiss and Sin](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10085351) by [IceK7](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceK7/pseuds/IceK7)




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